I'm kinda bored but I don't want to work on some of the unfinished posts I've been working on. So I guess occasionally I'll type down whatever I'm thinking about.
.

.

.

I feel really sexy after pampering myself at night with a nice shower and a face mask. And it's all because of my hair. If I feel good about my hair, then I'll feel good. If I'm having an off day with my hair, then I feel eh. I like the way my wavy hair looks when it falls effortlessly on my back. Ok, this is slightly narcissistic of me but I like to check out my body in from of my mirror when I'm changing my clothes and see which angles compliment my body type. I never really noticed I had a nice body till high school when I started wearing more skin-revealing clothes. But body positivity right? Nothing wrong with some self-love. There are some days I'm kinda neutral about it but that's when I bloat the week before my period starts. Anyway, I'd stare at how the curves of my body make me look nicely slim. LOL. A contradiction there. But that's how I can accurately describe it. Or I guess a small waist with some curve to give my body some shape. Oh and my legs. Damn I have nice legs. They're not up to par with a Victoria's Secret model but they're nice... Ahh... I love my body.
.

.

.

I've been in the mood lately but I can never talk about it with anyone. I know I could just say it but I won't get the answer I want anyway. I think about it whenever I'm feeling tired or dozing off. It keeps me sitting there or lying there for almost half an hour, distracted by whatever feels good at the moment. It probably means that I need a break from whatever I was doing, but it's whatever. It happens. I keep it to myself.
.

.

.

It's been bothering me for a while. It's that feeling when you know you're not close to that person anymore. Sometimes you don't notice it and sometimes you do. In this case, I do. It feels like we'll go back to awkward conversations and empty silences because it's slowly feeling foreign to me. I don't know if I can hold on any longer. It's out of my control. It is what it is.

Distance.

I want to try. I want to hold on to some thread of optimism and hope that it's still there. I want to see something there, as if it still exists.

It's fading slowly.

Sometimes I get tired of it. Sometimes I get tired of how long I have to hold on. Sometimes I get tired of how much strength I use to hold on to something I want to keep and cherish. I don't know if it's worth it.

But then there is hope.

Then I'm tired.

Hope.

Tired.

Hope.

Tired.

I want to talk to you but I can't bring myself to ask. Life happens and you forget.