Hurtful expectations

I've been hurt a lot throughout my life, specifically emotionally. Sometimes my family hurts me, sometimes my friends do, past crushes definitely, and of course, myself. Because of all those moments and experiences, all the hurt I've felt has accumulated and developed into negative expectations or as the title says, hurtful expectations.

1. I don't think I'll ever get married. Honestly, it would be nice to spend the rest of your life with someone you love. I even made a recent post about opening up to love. But I'm just ok with the idea of it. Thinking about it is nice. I see the positive aspects of being in a long-term, honest, and faithful marriage. But I really don't think it will happen. Relationships aren't really a thing for my life so I might as well face reality and learn to keep it at the back of my mind for my other friends that will get married in the future. I don't even know how to be in a relationship since I've been single my entire life. Going on dates? Look at #2 and #3. Relationships are honestly really pointless for me but that's all from the shitty guys that convinced me that I'm not dating material. And I mean all the guys I've had a crush on.

2. Everyone will leave me. Everyone that's in my life now will leave me for better people and priorities. Yes I know I sound like I want attention but I still feel lonely these days. Even when I'm around a big group of my friends, I still feel lonely, awkward, and left out at times. Right now I'm kinda distancing myself from some people. People say that they'll be here for you now but later on, they won't. They'll forget about you. I'm still trying to adjust myself to becoming more comfortable with being by myself but I get attached to people easily. So I'm doing it little by little by trying to show less emotions to others. I do have close friends but they will leave me too.

3. I'm not really an interesting person. I'm not pretty. I'm not talented. I guess I'm kinda smart. I haven't done much with my life yet. Honestly, people shouldn't waste their time on me because all I do is sleep, eat, and study. I do dance but I'm deciding whether or not if I should slowly move it out of my life.

These are the few things I keep in mind everyday.
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I just want to be loved back by someone I love. Is that too much to ask for?
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I guess it is...