Let's not fall in love again. Ok? Good.

I need a break from studying physiology. I'm getting kinda sick of it lol. But waow I'm gonna talk about a topic I really hate talking about.

Love. Ew. It makes me cringe just thinking about the word.

I think I made a post last year on how I feel about that particular "thing". Eh. It's cringy and corny. Yeah it makes me feel uncomfortable. I have my reasons why I react that way towards love: 1. Past experiences with liking people led to me giving up on myself. 2. It's a fucking distraction. (Well for me...)

Life is complicated and unfair. But then again, it gives you what you need, not what you want. (I'll let you think about your life with those previous sentences.)

Ok, to clear up things, I don't like romantic love. The other kinds like parental, sibling, and friendly love, I'm perfectly fine with. But that particular one makes me want to gag out acid. My past experiences liking guys ended up with disappointment and some other life experiences that made me fear it. Yah know, cheating on your significant other because you're tired of them and want something exciting in your love life. It's been so common around me, sometimes I doubt my friendship with my closest friends. I'm scared that I'll be vulnerable enough to really trust someone and then having that person take advantage of me or leaving me behind as if I'm a worn-out lover or a useless toy to throw out later on when he's bored with me. Plus it's distracting af. I have better things to do than think about one specific person that toys with my actions and emotions. It's emotionally tiring and I hate being emotionally tired. I'm already an emotional person, so having an overload of emotions will make me go crazy. For example, in this scenario, I have finals but something bad happened between me and this guy I have a crush on. But because I'm an emotional person, I can't ignore the overwhelming emotions I'm experiencing at the moment which means I'm gonna get distracted. Getting distracted by an asshole that doesn't give a fuck about you? That's a really shitty reason why you can't get your shit together.

But it happens. And sometimes you have to deal with it.