My life playlist

This playlist was an assignment I had to do for my Asian American Studies class. I hope you enjoy this lol. It was pretty difficult for me to explain why these songs represent this moment in my life but overall, it was interesting...

...an old version of you:

Pink - Fuckin' Perfect

If you compared the old version of myself to who I am right now, the old Melissa wouldn't believe that I'd be a completely different person in the future. I used to be a shy and quiet person with a very low self-esteem. I was that kind of person to always take the blame even if it wasn't my fault. I didn't have many close friends because I would constantly worry about accidentally doing stupid in front of people. I often felt lonely because I thought that I didn't belong at school or at home. At home, my dad would constantly compare me to my older cousin because she did more extracurricular activities and had better grades than me. Eventually I became depressed and suicidal for a few years. I turned to music as my escape from the harsh reality of life because I was able to relate to the lyrics of songs or the feeling of the music. Music was the only thing that understood me and brought me comfort during those times. Fucking Perfect is one of the songs I listened to often during that time of my life.

...your best memory in middle school:

Taeyang - Only Look At Me

K-pop changed my life. It helped me become a better person which is the person I am today. I used to be very shy back then and I would have a difficult time meeting new people. Someone on my 8th grade basketball team introduced me to K-pop and I slowly became a different person, someone I would be proud of. The person that introduced me to K-pop also helped me through my depression and I'm always thankful for her introducing me and in a way, saving my life. She wrote me lists of K-pop songs I should listen to and I still have those papers with me today. Only Look At Me is one of the songs from the lists she wrote for me. I made new friends through K-pop as a way to start a conversation with people and some of those people are now my closest best friends.

...a time of joy:

Fiestar - One More

This song reminds me of all the amazing memories I had with my high school K-pop dance team, KDT. One More is one of the songs I performed with KDT and was my favorite song to perform in some of the events we did. Because I was new in the K-pop fandom, I decided to join a K-pop club to make new friends in a school where I didn't know anyone. After a few practices, performances, and social events, I noticed how much I've changed while spending time with KDT. I became more confident, social, and accepting of who I am.

...a time you forgave someone who wronged you:

Coldplay - The Scientist

I have a complicated relationship with the person that wronged me. To make things short, less complicated, and straightforward, one of my best friends used me for his physical needs. I liked him at first, then he lead me on, found out that he liked another girl, and he still continued to do things with me that made our situation even worse. A few months went by over the summer and I hated him. All of a sudden, he came over to my house to apologize to me. I thought about how much courage it took for him to apologize to me and how he wanted to tell me face to face instead of over a text. After a few talks, I forgave him. He truly felt sorry for what he did. I chose The Scientist because he was the one that introduce me to Coldplay and a few songs by them. I listen to this song when I recall the moments of what he did to me.

...someone you love:

Coldplay - Sparks

The person I love is the same person I forgave. Sparks is one of his favorite Coldplay songs. After becoming friends again during my first year of college, we've had some difficulty building up trust. But during that time, we've learned a lot about who we are as a person from our past mistakes. He was one of the people there for me when I had emotional breakdowns. I've become physically, emotionally, and spiritually comfortable around him. I chose to forgive him because I was hoping that we would be able to fix our friendship even though it was broken for a while. Eventually, the broken pieces from our broken friendship in the past became something beautiful today, like a colorful mosaic.