Lonely Holidays

The holidays feel lonelier and lonelier as I get older. Maybe I should've stayed in San Francisco. At least I'd be feeling lonely on my own than being lonely with a group of people. I don't know... feeling lonely by yourself feels better than feeling with a group of people. With a group of people, you feel out of place, as if you don't belong. 

I think this blog is mainly for my dark thoughts. Mainly. It's been pretty dark lately and I guess it fits in with the black and white aesthetic of my blog. I'm not so sure about the white part or the "good vibes". Not many good vibes lately.

I don't think I'll be able to hang out with my friend from Utah. I really miss him (I still need to wrap his gift and write his letter) but he's been busy lately so I'm not sure that we'll be able to see each other. 

It's ok. He came to visit to relax and be happy instead of doing depressing stuff like hang out with me. If anything, we can talk and hang out the next time he visits....

Whatever... He has better things to do than hang out with me.