How often do I wear a fake smile?

51. How often do I wear a fake smile?
I used to wear a fake smile often but not anymore. I'll save that for another post.

This brings back so many depressing moments, but it has a happy ending. Back then when I was really depressed and a bit suicidal, I read that smiling in the mirror helps when you just cried a lot so that people won't tell that you just cried a lot. One day, I was at a school festival and I felt lonely and ignored, as if you're surrounded by a lot of people but you feel like you don't belong. I went to the bathroom and cried. Then I tried smiling in the mirror because I didn't want people to see that I was crying a lot a few minutes ago. I looked like a mess. Then I tried smiling. It felt weird and uncomfortable at first but I went on to washing and wiping my face.

I kept doing that every time after I cried. I did it so often, it became a habit. After getting over my depression with the help of my friend Leah, I noticed something about myself while I was looking in the mirror.

"Wow. I'm pretty when I smile."

I realized I had a habit of smiling in front of the mirror and why it became a habit. I'm thankful for it.

To all those out there suffering from depression or having a bad day: Smile. Things will get better.